DON’T PLAY SANTA CLAUS

I have an aged uncle. He has a son and a daughter; both working professionals and happily married. Uncle retired a few years ago; aunt passed away just after his retirement. The loneliness and feeling of being ‘not useful’ bugged him. He took to offering financial assistance to his children to help them tide over short term financial crisis in their lives. He felt useful and wanted.

Time flies by and in a couple of years, he realized that he was being taken for granted and worse the children appeared to be like vultures waiting for him to die and get the inheritance.  So, what went wrong? Many things…I guess!

The financial assistance that was offered was never explicitly mentioned whether it was an interest free loan, or one time grant or part of the inheritance. Children enjoyed the fact that their dad was their Santa Claus and did as per their bidding. Uncle also went along, shrinking himself just to be in their good books. He was unhappy but did not know how to stop this and revert back to his original personality….the one which had control over his lifestyle and decisions.

The children enjoyed the income created by their father’s generosity. It was tax free. Their spendings increased proportionately. They failed to see what they were doing. Their common sense was not activated and it took a financial earthquake to wake them up. The financial earthquake came in the form of my uncle’s refusal to offer free income any more. Uncle also realised that he was doing no good by mollycoddling his adult children.

The scene was not pleasant, I am sure. However, it allowed both the parties to introspect the consequences of the previous arrangement. It took time to return to a working relationship again. The son and daughter learnt to live within their means; uncle also understood that certain boundaries are to be maintained even with one’s own blood. Self dignity must be preserved.