Calm Down

Why is my mind agitated for the past couple of days and nights? I am trying to get to the root of it. Unless I am able to resolve it, I will keep trying superficial ways and means to calm it down. A pot of boiling water will not cool down by fanning it only; it will cool down once the source of heat/fire is removed.

So, no amount of deep breathing is helping. Neither are long solitary walks. The mind keeps chattering on the particular issue that is agitating me. I keep trying to distract by browsing or listening to classical music or doing guided meditation.

As a life coach, I began asking myself what stops me from letting go of the thoughts that are causing me so much discomfort? Many answers come up….the dominant ones being my ego and my expectations. I continued asking myself “Can I let  go of my expectations?”

At surface level I knew I could let go of the expectations but at the back of my mind was another thought of ‘what would people say?’. I continued talking to myself. If the so called other people’s opinions didn’t matter, will I be able to relax my mind? Then came another question, “Am I allowing myself to feel unhappy by someone else’s actions/words?” If yes, then I am being a puppet. I have handed over control of my mental peace to someone else. What if I refuse to be affected by the other person? Will the other person now be agitated to see me so calm and composed? I shiver with wicked pleasure at this thought. Now my hurt ego is feeling better.

I start practicing gratitude. I am so thankful for all the good things in my life. I will not let a few bad events affect me. If the ‘someone else’ is unwilling to do as I wish, can I remain detached and create my own happiness?  I am now in control of my mental peace. The root cause analysis has been done and solution discovered. Just as the source of heat/fire had to be removed for the pot of boiling water to cool down, I too have addressed my source of mental agitation and can now move forward.

P.S. I put in efforts to practice the above. Was partly successful. In the meantime, the ‘someone else’ decided to act as per my wish. I should have been happy. Alas, I was not experiencing any happiness. Realization dawned upon me that I was unnecessarily seeking happiness from activities that were not meaningful. So my next practice would be to seek happiness from within and thus help my mind to remain calm.