REINVENTING MYSELF

I have not always been a child who agreed to whatever my parents thought was good for me. Please don’t mistake me for a rebel. I think I always had a mind of my own, even when I was two years old. At the age of two I decided that it was time for me to go to school since other children of my campus were going to school. I pestered my parents and my dad tried to put me off by saying that he had not yet collected the admission form. Every evening on his return from office I would enquire about the form and the answer was …dad forgot to collect the form. One evening after this same response I found the gate of our compound open and I walked out in search of a form. My parents were unaware at that moment. Luckily an uncle found me on the road all alone and enquired where I was going. He managed to pacify me and bring me back home and the next day the Montessori School form also came. I reinvented myself from a home stay kid to a school going kid.

Another incidence that sticks to my memory is that I refused to study in the campus school because I did not like the uniform. We had been transferred to Baroda and we were on the lookout for new schools for us siblings. I told my parents that I want to study in a missionary school as I have been doing so far. My parents told me that I would  have to hunt for it on my own if I wished to do that. The nearest convent school was 20kms away from the campus. I took help of campus friends who were studying there and visited the school and enquired about admission. Thankfully there was vacancy in the ninth standard and my parents agreed to admit me there. My siblings however continued their education in the campus school. I reinvented myself from being happy in a comfort zone to moving out paving my own path.

There have been similar instances where I took decisions based on what I strongly wanted from the core of my heart. My parents used to be perplexed at my decision and there used to be hot debates also. However they continued with their support; consequences of the decision rested entirely on me. These instances happened because I had a vision that was different from the normal ordinary vision of middle class parents. Ofcourse I did not get my way all the time and that used to be very depressing.

While in service, in my early career, I felt suffocated because of lack of opportunity or maybe I was bored of functioning the same way…..day in and day out. I applied for the nine month Faculty Development Program of IIMA. My organization was not very supportive and yet I went ahead. In the process I had to be on “leave without pay” for several months. Thankfully my husband supported me and took over the charge of family life for nine long months. This brought a turning point in my life and career. I found new windows of opportunity open up. I had reinvented myself as a teacher and trainer.

This experience gave me the confidence to apply for the British Chevening Fellowship for “Women in Leadership and Management”. The four months in the UK helped me to reinvent myself again. I had new found confidence that “foreign” was not that foreign. I can adapt and manage.

Administrative responsibilities came my way and this was an opportunity to reinvent myself as an administrator. The years continued to roll and I got an opportunity to be a part of the cohort that was being trained to take up future responsibility as institutional heads.

As the years go by, I am now planning for post retirement engagement. I have again reinvented myself as a life/executive coach. I have undergone rigorous training for that and now letting it out in the grape-vine that I am ready to offer my services. Should you need a life coach do email me at chandanagoswami@rediffmail.com .

I see myself as a Phoenix…the bird that takes rebirth from its own ashes. Every time I see myself dying from inside, I find out a way for rebirth and reinvent myself with more value addition and more ability to serve the society.