WAKE UP

Wake up and understand the signals. Are you in a toxic relationship and still confused about what to do? Do you continue in the relationship like a martyr sacrificing for the sake of children or parents or because of some dependency? You can be a man or a woman.

Relationships need mutual trust and respect. Of course there will be fair share of arguments and sulking. There are attempts to change the spouse/partner to fit in with our visual of an ideal partner; on the other hand you don’t find it necessary to change yourself. And the power game continues.

However if the conversation moves towards verbal abuse or sarcasm, ask yourself what is leading to this. If you have the patience to explore the root cause, you may find ways and means to resolve the issue. On the other hand you can get into a slinging match with a never say die attitude; both getting stronger in successive battles. This will lead to birth of self doubts and feeling of inadequacy followed by a strong desire to have positive validation from this very partner with whom you are having a sparring match.  Both partners will focus their energy on fault finding mission of the other. And the children or parents for whose sake you are in this toxic relationship would actually be very happy not to see your faces for sometime.

Wake up to the signals of a toxic relationship. Nip it in the bud. Set boundaries for your partner. Say what’s not acceptable and you too respect the boundary and behave accordingly. Do not let self doubt creep in because of the verbal onslaught. You know your value better and hence don’t seek external validation. Your partner’s  or your own behaviour may come from insecurities that are breeding within. To maintain a healthy relationship such toxic signals must be dealt with dispassionately so that you can begin on a clean slate. Seek help, if you are unable to deal with it on your own. That’s what life coaches are for.

“Growth is painful; change is also painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”  Found this appropriate quote someplace and decided to share it here.

I can be reached at chandanagoswami@rediffmail.com