BE THE PERSON WHO YOU CAN RESPECT

We have heard of the phrase “be your authentic self”. Yet when we see people behaving in an obnoxious manner and claiming “this is who I am”, we get pissed off. Are these two phrases contradictory?

While we know that being genuine is desirable, we face situations where we cover up our genuine emotions and display the fake emotion. We were also taught to please people irrespective of our wish. Being our authentic self means we stick to our core values, display integrity and are consistent in our behaviour. It helps colleagues and family to be comfortable in having a working relationship with us. We come across as predictable, which makes life easy.

What makes life difficult or irritating for family and colleagues is when we do not have control over our emotions and display obnoxious behaviour; and claiming that we are being our authentic self.  Again, being a people pleaser and ignoring our core values will also cause internal conflict and a lot of discomfort. So what is going wrong?

Being your authentic self doesn’t imply that you express yourself in an aggressive and unprofessional manner. You are entitled to stick to your core values and professionalism demands that you express it in a decent manner.

Being authentic has its consequences. On one hand people will appreciate you for being straightforward and on the other hand “calling a spade a spade” is not well taken. But what is not acceptable is rude and rowdy behaviour in the name of ‘being your authentic self’.

If you are questioning why do we need to bother about other people’s opinion, let me answer that. We need to earn our own respect for ourself before we seek respect from others. We all intend to leave behind a legacy worth remembering. People will recall our contribution to our workplace and family.

Being our authentic self, calls for self awareness. Self awareness is an eye opener. The sooner we experience it, the better. I learnt self awareness in my late thirties. A little late but nevertheless it helped me very much. It was not too late to bring changes in myself. Life coaching was not in vogue then. Today you have options for a Life Coach to act as your external eyes and ears and providing you with a more accurate picture of your reality. So get set on becoming the person who you can respect.