THAT TINGE OF JEALOUSY
I practise gratitude in all sincerity. Yet I experienced a sting of jealousy. I was looking forward to an invitation which did not materialise. A friend got it. Oh dear… I felt sad. But you cannot make out from my face or behaviour that I was sad. After 24 hours passed, the feeling subsided and I began taking stock of what I have got out of life versus missing on the invite. Indeed I had a lot!!
Man proposes, God disposes. Whatever happens, happens for the best. These sentences are more meaningful in my life. So when I pray, I never ask for specific things at specific times. Never have I prayed that I obtain a particular position at a decided time frame. I put in a general prayer for my upliftment and continue doing the background slogging. Neither will I pray for specific benefits for my children during a specified year. I pray for their betterment while prodding them to continue their slogging in the background. And yes, I have not got precisely what I wanted. But I have had other equally good stuff coming my way.
On introspection, I realise that I would have been unhappy and unable to perform in the position I was desiring for. God surely knows what is best for me. Similarly my children have been granted wishes that were best for them; although at times I would get impatient for things not happening as per my preferred timeline.
With age, I can slowly see less of a need to prove that “I am the best”. As long as I know I am the best, I wait for people to find it out themselves. This doesn’t mean that I wait for only my work to speak for me. Along with my work, I subtly share my progress with people or at places where it matters.
As long as I can wish well for people in my radius, I will continue to be blessed with abundance. And as for that tinge of jealousy that occasionally resurfaces, I will just let it go and not continue to keep holding onto it. I will continue practising patience because all good stuff will come as per the destined time. Till then I must place my faith in the super power.