DON’T LET YOUR DREAMS DIE
As young adults we had pure, unfiltered dreams and ambitions of who we wished to become in the future. Till the dreams and desires were in our minds, we continued believing in them. But the moment we articulated them, we had parents, friends, teachers and who not telling us that those dreams were not for us. They gave us substitute dreams. With more such inputs coming in, we too started questioning the validity of our dreams and brushed them under the carpet.
Or we were told that indeed the dreams are okay but first you have societal obligations to complete before you embarked on your dreams. So, we had to hunt for a source of livelihood; we were lucky if we got one of our choice. Once the livelihood was taken care of, we had to get married. Again we were lucky if we got a partner who understood our dreams. Else dreams were again swept aside; we focused on the family.
It is never too late to revive your dreams. Keep thinking about it and you will find a clear picture of how your life will look like. Nothing is impossible to achieve. Most times it is our belief that holds us back. Explore your limiting beliefs. What holds you back?
Is it about self? You feel that something is inherently wrong with you.
Is it about the world? You feel that others are not allowing you to perform.
Is it about life? You feel that things are too difficult.
Have you noticed all beliefs end up with your feelings? And let me assure you that you are in control of your feelings. You can chose how you wish to feel.
Our thoughts give rise to our feelings and subsequently our behaviour. If you think that you are the only one in the family who is responsible for the family’s well being, then you start feeling responsible for everyone and everything in the family, and the subsequent behaviour could be of an autocratic person who dictates how everyone and everything should be in the family.
Or you have thoughts of beginning a new activity (writing a book, starting a bakery, take a dealership etc.) and you think that it can be done only when you have the family support. Your family members are engaged in their own work. You keep waiting for the perfect environment and feelings of irritation and depression set in as you are unable to move forward. The behaviour that you display is that of blaming the world for not allowing you to progress.
How to come out of this trap? In the first example, change your thoughts to “Everyone is an adult and are responsible for themselves. I am here to support them but not get involved in micro details.” Once this thought is planted in your mind, you will feel relaxed since you no longer are responsible for other people’s outcomes. And the behaviour will change to that of a facilitator. This will give you your much needed free time for new dreams.
For the second example, accept the fact that there is no perfect environment. You will have to find a way forward on your own. Once this thought is in place, you start feeling more responsible for your own dream. The behaviour will then change into finding ways and means to fulfil your dream.
Should you need a helping hand to chase your dream, connect with me at chandanagoswami@rediffmail.com or at +91 9435180258.