LET GO and FORGIVE

A friend stated that he had been emotionally hurt very badly by someone close to him for which his professional life was also affected. We discussed about it skimming on the surface and then he stated “I will never let go of it and forgive, because if I do I will feel that I have let myself down.”

This thought led him to experiencing feelings of bitterness continually, which affected his behaviour. Moreover it led to the loss of ability of moving forward since he had clamped and locked himself to the past. It is equivalent of having your car wheel being clamped and locked when you park in a wrong place. You have a car with the other three wheels intact, engine in working condition, fuel in the tank, you know to drive …. but cannot move ahead because of that one wheel.

Have you considered doing away with the whole wheel and clamp, replacing it with the spare wheel and moving forward leaving the clamped wheel behind. It depends on how you perceive the situation.

Many a times, we shackle our self to past events immobilising our own self. We don’t even realise it and continue to blame the past event or person for our state of mind, while the other person must be blissfully clueless. We let go of our power and positivity when we allow such memories to haunt us on and on.

I agree that we are hurt by events and persons. It takes time to come to terms with it. But to continue feeding those negative memories and keeping them alive and healthy causes more harm than good. However, I agree that it is not easy to let go and forgive.

Letting go can be practiced if we change our perspective. Instead of nurturing the feeling that letting go is equivalent of letting oneself down, let us visualise that letting go means “I will not allow myself to be affected by the hurt memories. I have better things to do.”

Just as the phoenix rises from its own ashes, let us let go of memories that hold us back and transform ourselves into becoming a better version of ourselves. Once we let go, forgiveness will follow without us even being aware of it. After all, we live only once and let us make our life enjoyable and memorable.