SUPERWOMAN

I was called a ‘super woman’ by friends, both men and women.  And I loved it….multi tasking, travelling, organising, playing the roles of a professional, home manager, mother, wife etc. etc. I would get a kick by being one step ahead of women as well as men. Many women can resonate with me, I guess. So far so good. However, we need to set some boundaries. Don’t ever take it as your responsibility for other people’s growth or behaviour or whatever.

At times super women think that they are accountable for all things happening in their lives. For example:  it is my responsibility to ensure that my students turn out to be the best; it is my responsibility to ensure that my kids turn out to be the best; it is my responsibility to ensure that my home runs smoothly; it is my responsibility to ensure that my husband’s clothes are in order. The list can go on and on. And we all know the consequences….burnout. And what can be even worse is when colleagues and family start blaming us when things go wrong AND WE START BELIEVING IN IT.

Hey woman! Take a chill pill. Everybody is not your responsibility all the time. Take children for example. As they grow, you can let them take responsibility for checking school uniform and bags for the next day. It is perfectly okay that they may not be as perfect as you or they may bungle up initially. Treat it as speed learning. Believe me they will learn much faster as compared to you teaching them over the years. Nothing beats experience. Your gain is that you have free ‘me time’.

Even after understanding this, some of us continue to do things for the children, the husband, the colleagues…. Is it a need to feel wanted? To let family and office feel that you are indispensable? We all know that nobody is indispensable in this world. Why then carry the burden of responsibility of adults who are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves?  If we do not facilitate in grooming our children to become responsible adults, we are doing injustice. After all it is not our intention to create handicapped grown-ups.

How do you react when you are blamed by family and colleagues for other people’s inadequacies? Does the superwoman in you feel let down and inefficient? Do you feel stressed? It’s time to let go. If you need assistance in doing so, I can be reached at chandanagoswami@rediffmail.com.  Try changing your mindset. Empower others and continue being the superwoman.